"Ception"

I'm doing a themed blog today, just cuz I thought of if in the car on the way to my mom's house today. And that theme is "Ception". It will make sense in a minute, just stay with me.

The first "ception" on our list are reception sticks. (Do you see the theme now?) Today, at the same time while I was in the car having the idea for this blog, I was eating lemon reception sticks. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, reception sticks are really skinny candy sticks of various flavors (think candy canes, but different flavors and just straight sticks) dipped in chocolate. They are actually quite fabulous, in my opinion. I greatly enjoyed them, and I also discovered that I don't care too much for the mint ones. So there's our first "ception".

Our second "ception" is the movie Inception that just came out last year. (Any confusion about this theme?) Now, I actually really love this movie. I've only seen it twice, I believe, but I loved it both times. If you haven't seen it, you should give it a shot. It's like a really awesome James Bond kind of thing, almost. And I am kind of a Leonardo DiCaprio fan, I admit it. I think he's adorable, and he's still adorable as he gets older, and that's hard to do. Sometimes I just really enjoy mind-bending movies like this one.

Next on our list of "ceptions" is exception. I'm actually not sure where I'm going with this, let's look up the definition. *Wanders over to Google Dictionary* Ok, the best one is: the one that is excepted, or the on to whom the rules do not apply. Alrighty, so let's think of an exception here . . . ok, and] exception to the rule that children are always adorable. Currently, it is 2:30ish in the morning right now, and my three year old keeps waking up and doing her whining cry that is very loud, extremely annoying, and really starting to get on my nerves. I admit it, I have Bad Mommy tendencies on occasion, and they include ignoring tantrums, throwing toys back when she throws them when she's mad, and refusing to give her full strength chocolate milk at any occasion. Anyway, so right now I'm being exceptionally irritated at her, and I think she needs to quit doing her whiny cry and go to sleep, the little booger. See, Bad Mommy.

Ok, another "ception" is related to the first one, but totally different. Wedding receptions. We just had one last week for my sister in law, she got married and if you don't know any Mormons, let me give you a quick overview of how Utah Mormons do weddings. We do everything ourselves, or we have friends and ward members help. For example, for my wedding, the reception was in our backyard. My mom's friend did the cake. My mom and my mom's friend did my hair. It was a community effort from my family and my husband's family for the decorations. The food was made by my aunt, my mom, my mother in law, and my sister. We made the bridesmaid's skirts. And it all turned out gorgeous, by the way, and if we hadn't all been such rookies at doing weddings, the whole day would have been perfect.

Ooh, I found another "ception"! Deception. As in, to deceive, bluff, beguile, mystify, also subterfuge. For some reason, this reminds me of my newest favorite musical EVER, Cats. Last year the high school put on a production of Cats, and while I thought it was totally odd, I still liked it. And then I found the DVD at the library and completely fell in love. I don't remember if I've mentioned this before, but I have a ferocious and rampant crush on the Rum Tum Tugger (and also the actor that played him in the movie). So how does this all relate to deception? Well, one of the cats in the musical, Macavity, is basically the big bad nasty cat that is responsible for all the mischief and naughty stuff that happens, and he's sneaky and a master of disguise and all that. See, he's deceptive. Ha ha, this game is fun. The three year old is really starting to tick me off.

Ok, one more and then I'm going to put in earplugs and go to sleep, whiny three year old or not. Our last "ception" is perception. Basically, intuition. I was going to avoid this story, but what the hey? No one reads this anyway, so who's going to care? So, several months ago my husband's friend decided that he was going to become a trucker. Like, long-haul, semi-driving trucker. And he talked my husband into doing it too. I knew the second I got wind of this that it was not going to be fun. And boy howdy, was I right. My husband left Friday night for orientation and 4-6 weeks of training to become a long-haul trucker. Meaning, I will not be seeing him until at least the middle of February. I won't antagonize you by listing all of the many ways that this SUCKS. And after all of that, he will be on the following schedule of one week out gets him one day at home. Yeah. You wanna know the percentage of the time he'll be home? It's right around %14. Of the 365 days of the year, I will see my husband for 52 of them. And for half of those, we'll be sleeping.

I have a very good idea right now what the 7th circle of hell is like, and let me tell ya, it's just a frigging hoot and a half. (I am using much stronger, sailor-worthy language in my head, believe me.) Anyway, so my perception of this trucking idea is about the same now as it was back in September. It sucks. It will continue to suck. I'll have to get back to you on how something like this affects a marriage that was silently suffering anyway. Don't tell anybody, that's supposed to be my own little secret.

Okeydokey, I think I've pretty much angst-ed out everyone for the night, and between this and the three year old I'm now in a mood black enough to put a whole lot of villains to shame. I'm going to try and find something to cheer me up now, and until we meet again, ciao.

After-Holiday Pre-Wedding Rush

Hello darlings! How was everyone's Christmas and New Year's? Both of mine were fabulous and fun and all that jazz, and I got awesome presents and some great hangout time with my families, so I enjoyed it immensely. And, this is quite a shocker to me, but all of the Christmas decorations are down. *Big eyes* Yeah, I know, how weird is that? We actually took it all down last week so there was more room for wedding crap all over (I am so ready for this freakin' wedding to be over, by the way) and that's the first time in, like, ever, that Christmas stuff has come down before New Year's.

I am now going to do . . . something. I thought about tellin y'all about my presents, but that would be supremely boring for you. Hmm . . . well, I'm reading a book series, well, skimming a book series is more accurate, but I like it. It's the Black Dagger Brotherhood by J.R. Ward and I'm enjoying it. The way she writes is bleeding into my vocabulary and I think I might be permanently altered now. I'm not really into vampires, never have been, and I think I might have mentioned my resistance to reading the Twilight series, but this series puts a different twist on it that just works for me. I have the two remaining books in the series on hold at work, but there are 9 people ahead of me for both of them, and there are only single copies of each one available. *Rolls eyes* Yeah, I can expect to get them sometime around September. How very annoying.

I'm going to be sacriligeous, are we ready for this?! I kinda like Britney Spears. Well, pre-bald, pre-divorce, pre-bad rap Britney Spears. I have her first album that I love to death and then a few songs from her second album, and then 3 in there from the early 2000's that were on the radio all the time in high school. Let me tell you, listening to all that music that was on when I was in school is just the awesomest blast from the past. Most of my playlists on itunes have a LOT of songs from when I was in high school. Best years of my life, right there. Ah, I miss them.

Ok, this is sad, but my well of chatter has run dry so I'm gonna go run away and find something to do. I have several books to read, which I just might do, or catching up on watching NCIS or Big Bang online. And dinner is probably in an hour, twice baked potatoes and roast! Yummy! Yeah, I'm leaving now, see ya!

CHRISTMAS!!! *Bouncing around the room*

Happy Christmas to you all! Ok, so it's technically not Christmas yet, and for the next few minutes that it's still the 22nd of December, we have 3 more days until Christmas! But I'm pretty sure I won't be blogging until then, especially since my track record with all this is . . . well, pathetic. Let's not mince words, here. So do you all want to hear what I've been up to? *Giggling to self* What am I saying, of course you do!

So, I think we've previously discussed my gift conundrum, the whole no money thing. Yeah. It's worse than I thought, actually, but through significant amounts of stress and an extremely charitable act from my sister in law, the presents are now almost completely done. I'm making a recipe book for my mom out of all the 3x5 recipes cards she has, and that has been by far the most complicated project, and it's the only one not done. I have 2 others that are done but not wrapped, and everything else is done or bought. *Looking around nervously, convinced I forgot something* This is very amazing. I am never making a homemade present again. EVER. Although, the pillow I made for my sister with a quote sewn on it is really freaking cute. But I am not making another one. EVER.

So for the moment, I am watching Christmas movies constantly, listening to lots of Christmas music, and really looking forward to Christmas Eve. We're going up to my Mom's, and since she goes crazy over all the holidays, Christmas is no exception. And we have a bunch of awesome Christmas traditions that we do on Christmas Eve. We do all sorts of fun finger foods, and the most famous might just be the Cheese Ball. My mom, my sister, and I usually work together on a fantastic concoction of a bunch of cheese and make a lovely cheese ball to have with crackers. *Smiles in anticipation* And then a veggie tray, little smokies with our own special sauce, just all sorts of stuff. I'm very excited. And then we'll do the Christmas Story, Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and have Sprite and eggnog and chips and dip, and each open a bedtime related present from our parents. I just get more and more worked up in anticipation talking about it! I was talking to someone at work about our Christmas traditions and stuff and she said that I have a really good family to do stuff like that with, and I agree. And something very special about my family is that all of us still remember how to be a kid and feel that love and excitement and off-the-wall craziness that makes everything fun. Being at my family's house is like being a kid again without adult worries, and I treasure that.

In the spirit of Christmas, I'm going to set forth a few favorite. My favorite Christmas movie is The Muppet's Christmas Carol, and the runner up is White Christmas. Contenders for 3rd place are We're No Angels, Polar Express, Charlie Brown's Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the original). Other honorable mentions are the classics like Rudolph, and also Elf and The Santa Clause. My favorite Christmas songs are as follows: newer music winner is Hey Santa or Carol of the Bells (one of the funky versions). Classic is either Sleigh Ride by the Boston Pops or something by Bing Crosby. One of my new rediscoveries is Christmas in Kilarney and I had one fun trip down memory lane. (When I was little we used to go on a Christmas tree hunt the day after Thanksgiving and go up in the mountains several hours away and cut down a tree. We had a tape of Christmas music that we'd listen to over and over and it was great.) Anyway, back to the list, my favorite hymn is Angels We Have Heard On High, it's the whole "Glo-o-o-o-o-oooo-o-o-o-o-oooo-o-o-o-o-ooooria" part. Just so fun. I can't think of any others right now. I just really enjoy Christmas music.

Anyway, I'm going to go finish watching Muppets, perhaps wrap those other two presents, and pray that work goes by really fast tomorrow so I can go play with my family and get ready for Christmas Eve! I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and if I don't see you before New Years, Happy New Year!

I have thought of an idea for a great children's book. You know the one "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"? There should be one called "Mom and the Crazy, Psycho, Insane, Very Chaotic Day". I could be the main character. No, really. I have visible racoon circles under my eyes, I've been that crazy busy.

First of all, it is December (I know, shocker, huh?). Christmas happens in December, an unforgiving 5 weeks after Thanksgiving. And everyone else in the house gave one thought to the 17 billion boxes of Christmas decorations we had out in the shed and boycotted it. So I, me, my lone self, am solely responsible for getting the Christmas decorations up. Now, for Christmas we have several trees. We're talking 10 of them, and then one in my sister in law's room, and 2 little ones that are about 2 feet high. We have a lot of trees. I only put up 4 six-footers, one of the bitty ones, and one skinny four and a halfer. And of those, 3 are completely done, one has most of the ornaments on it, and 2 have just lights. I am not doing very well. Today and yesterday I finally put up the lights in our bedroom window and a string of them outside.

Second of all, that whole "Poor and Unknown" thing? I was not kidding about the poor part. It would take an entire month and a half's pay just to rent a 2 bedroom apartment, that's how poor we are. So, seeing as how it's December and Christmas is less than two and a half weeks away, I am facing a conundrum. I need Christmas presents for 15 people. I have one person done, one almost done, and one sorta done. That's it. *Slams head against wall* Do you have any idea how long it takes to make a homemade Christmas present? I don't either, but I can assure you it takes A FRIGGING LONG TIME!!! If I ever get ahold of Santa and there are no witnesses around, I am going to strangle him until his face matches his pretty red suit.

Thirdly, for some reason that I don't completely understand, I am being a nice person. I've been helping my mother in law get ready for my sister in law's wedding that she is freaking out about, helping my father in law with his second job as a janitor, helping my sister in law with what she needs, and helping myself to as much junk food as I can reach so I don't give in to the urge to sell my daughter on eBay and use the funds to go on vacation. Ok, so that part isn't very nice, but we are in the middle of a war zone involving potty training, an attitude problem bigger than the Soviet Union, and an addiction to chocolate milk and hot dogs. My three year old is lucky that I haven't run away from home.

And fourthly and finally, I hate ladders and folding laundry. No really. I do. Ladders hate me, they will find every excuse possible to try and tip me off to a very painful death. Or at least very painful bruises. Either way, I have never fallen off of one before, and I am just waiting for it. The revenge of the ladder. And I'm pretty sure laundry hates me too, and as soon as I put it in the hamper it multiplies like rabbits. And then when I put it in the washer and dryer, it does it again. And then again when it goes in the baskets to sit on the floor at the end of the bed until I fold it because I can't stand walking over and around them anymore.

So there's my tragic little story. Let's talk about you! Anyone? Anyone? Ok, fine. Well, now I'm off to do several things . . . possibly start a cross-stitched book mark, string mini sized candy bars on string to hang on my ceiling, or possibly write up a muse I had a great idea for when I was helping my father in law at work. Have a lovely day, enjoy your December, and if I manage to burn down my curtains over the headboard because the lights I put up on the window get really hot, I'll probably come crying to you sometime soon. Loves all!

Christmas is coming . . . *Peeks around corner*

I am feeling somewhat depressed today, but I'll try not to be all Grinchy. At least on "paper". First things first, and I must announce that my room is a disaster. I basically beat myself to death last week during the busiest workday EVER (no joke) and went straight home to clean the house (I really did clean almost the whole house)for my daughter's birthday party the next day. I just about died of exhaustion, but I had to go back to work first thing in the morning and clean up after the insanely busy day before. I think I'm still recovering, actually. The good news is that I have survived to sludge through another day.

It finally feels like November outside, and I am really trying to convince myself that Thanksgiving is practically here and that means that Christmas is less than six weeks away! *Screaming* I love Christmas, it is my favorite holiday. I love the decorations, the feeling, the month, the presents, and especially the lights. And the food, holy moley. I'm a food lover, and the holiday season is paradise for me.

But last week I started panicking (literally, I panicked) about Christmas presents. I am poor, like, seriously poor. Food Stamps and Medicaid poor. So we have no money for presents until my husband gets a new job, which could be within a month or two, or could be as far as six months away. So I was trying to think of stuff I could make for presents, and I had some great ideas, but they would take up a ridiculous amount of time that I don't have either. So I'm contemplating something deeply irresponsible . . . a Target credit card. I know, that is so bad, but I don't have any real brilliant ideas otherwise. Bad, naughty me.

Side Note: So my sister in law is getting married in January, and she's having a snowflake themed wedding. Trying to trace a snowflake pattern on felt is IMPOSSIBLE unless you want to spend twice as much time tracing as you will cutting. It it ridiculous. However, parchment paper snowflakes are quite easy, and very purty.

Ok, since I got two, count 'em, TWO hours of sleep last night (not kidding, not exaggerating), I think I'm going to go nap now. I like naps. I love naps. Me and naps are like this *crosses fingers*. So good day to you all, imaginary audience, and I hope you don't panic that Christmas is now 5 and a half weeks away. *Screaming*

The Magical Moments of Halloween

Howdy pard'ners! Ok, so I read part of a cowboy romance book today, now I'm talking in a Southern accent. And after being completely immersed in the crazy world of Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland for the past few weeks, it's kind of a weird change. I've been thinking in quotes and talking in accents from that movie while I've been working on my costume, which turned out really good! And I made the whole hat, by myself. It took masticating a cardboard box, using 2 sticks of glue with my hot glue gun, and half a yard of fabric to achieve it. But it looks really awesome!!! There is only one sad part to the hat . . . somewhere between taping it together and gluing on the brim, we lost some space and it doesn't fit on my head! *Facepalm!* But it still looks great!!! And I made wonderful gloves and lace cuffs, a big floppy tie like his, and I did a wonderful coat and I found the perfect shoes at DI!!! They were only $6, and they fit me! It was a completely magical moment, I nearly cried.

Anyway, Halloween was fun, my daughter got to be Tigger and I, of course, was the Mad Hatter. We did a pumpkin carving party with my Mom's side of the family on Friday and my Dad and I took a battery-fetching sabbatical to Costco and saw my sister-in-law there. And on Saturday after work I went with my daughter, father-in-law, and another sister-in-law to go Trick or Treating along Main Street and Trunk or Treating at the grocery store. It was way fun. And on Sunday we went up to my Mom and Dad's house and had a ball! We had dinner in a pumpkin (no, we did not dine inside a pumpkin, we put dinner INSIDE a pumpkin and ate out of it. Yes, one of my friends did think that I meant we were going to be dining inside a pumpkin, and I laughed hysterically) and listened to Halloween music and had homemade root beer with dry ice. We had sooo much fun playing with the dry ice fog, and got some great pictures.

So, funny story. I am seriously laughing as I write this. My daughter, over the course of a few hours, sneakily stole all of the leftover Halloween candy we had been handing out and hid it. She brought me the empty bowl and said, "All gone!", all proud of herself, and I wondered where she had put it. So the next day, she goes running into the front room and my husband and I are watching her, all confused, and she goes to her pink princess chair and starts pulling out handfulls of Laffy Taffy! Like, an armload of stolen candy!!! We laughed so hard, and then she started passing them out to us. Oh, it was great!

Anyway, I'm being seven kinds of distracted right now watching a show with my sister-in-law, so I'm running away now. See ya!

Two Thumbs Up!

Ok, I just woke up from a bit of a catnap with my daughter. I am still tired, and therefore do not understand the rave about catnaps. But since it's 8:45 and I shouldn't be sleeping anyway, I'll let it pass. So now I am on my computer for the first time all day (shocker, I know), and the first link I clicked on from my homepage took me to the cast for the new The Hobbit movie that they've been trying to get going for years. And, if I am recalling correctly, Kili and Fili are two Elf brothers or cousins or something (I only made it halfway through the book, but I did watch the animated movie). My completely and hearty approval for the choices of those two actors!!!! Holy hotness! I am so very, very excited to see this movie now, even more excited than I was before, because I can now look forward to seeing those two actors. I feel like I'm in high school again. *Breathy, girlish sigh*

Onto other news . . . for Halloween I want to be Tarrant Hightop, the Mad Hatter that Johnny Depp (*swoons*) played in Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland. Well, there were and still are a few problems with that plan: I had NONE of the costume. Like, seriously, none. Not the hat, bowtie, shirt, coat, pants, socks, shoes, hair, the white face makeup, NONE OF IT! Well, after spending my $20 gift card at JoAnn's and taking a sneaky and not quite approved trip to Walmart, I got the fabric and pattern for the coat! I know, it would be 1000 times easier to buy the thing, except, the coat I want, a frock coat, is upwards of at least $50 online. I don't have that kind of cash, but I have exciting news on the matter . . . I made the coat! And it was surprisingly easy, once I quit being stupid and sewing the pieces together wrong. I made it out of brown costume satin (but turned the other way, so it was shiny side in), stretchy brown velour/velvet stuff for the collar and cuffs, and I even did lining, fell free to be impressed. I am so proud of myself! The only things I have left to do it hand sew a bit of trim on, and slip stitch the lining in place at the bottom and waist. I wore it out to lunch with one of my best buds today, and she said it was awesome, and I wore it to work too, and they were all suitably impressed. And I felt all sorts of awesome, wearing my Mad Hatter/Pirate coat. It makes me all sorts of warm and gooey inside. Oh, and I bought the white face makeup for my costume, and I already had the other makeup needed. So now I just need . . . all the other stuff. I can borrow the crazy socks from my sister in law, and the pink shirt should be easy, and lacy cuffs should be easy. And hopefully the fingerless gloves. I need to go to DI. They have everything there.

In other news, I finally read my stack of Dr. Seuss books I got from the library! I've had them for at least 2 weeks, and I finally squeezed in some personal time to read them. I read The Sleep Book last week and had the funnest Kid Moment. My dad used to read us that book all the time when we were little, and you have never heard Dr. Seuss until you've heard it read by my dad. He was about 17 different kinds of amazing. He could read it so fast, and he never messed up, and when I was reading it last week I could just hear his voice while I read it. It was the coolest thing ever. That is still my very favorite Dr. Seuss book, and I just read Oh The Places You'll Go for the first time, and that contends for second place next to Scrambled Eggs Super. I love Dr. Seuss. Brilliant, brilliant, genius man.

Ok, I may be done yammering on for now, and it's almost time to get my two year old out of the tub (she saw one of those Pillow Pets for the first time the other day . . . she latched onto the unicorn, gave it a HUGE hug, and didn't let go til we got to the checkout. Now we know what to get her for her birthday . . . ) and put her to bed. So, bonsoir everyone, have a lovely night!