Stalkers, Ribbons, Messy Husbands

Why, hello blogger.com. I've missed you. How have you been? I've been good, although I have something interesting happening right now. I sort of have a stalker! Cool, huh?! Or at the very least, an extremely persistent man with a really big crush on me. Yeah. It's been an interesting week. Also, on a happy note, Pete's been home this week! I now know, for darn sure, that he is the messy one in this relationship. I'm not a neat freak, psh, no way, but when you look in our bedroom, basically everything on the floor is Pete's. Yeah. Really. Pajamas, pants, towel, robe, shoes, everything. My messes tend to be in the places where I put the things that don't have a place to be put away. My nightstand, the shelf my jewelry box sits on, the end of the bed when I don't wanna clean it off. But the stuff all over the place like it was dropped there by a kid on his way in the house . . . yep. That's my husband.

In other news, I've been playing with ribbon, getting to know a new vacuum, buying movies, and laughing hysterically with my mom and sister! They pretty much totally rock. And the vacuum cost about $1600. And Disney's Beauty and the Beast is officially one of my very, very favorite cartoons. It's top 3 for sure. Another is Little Mermaid. Yes, I'm a Disney freak, thanks for asking! And as for the ribbon, I spent a very irresponsible amount of money at Michael's on it, and some fake flowers. Going to Michael's with my sister in law or cousin is a very bad idea.

I wish to put to everyone's attention that it is a great injustice that people can't reach their own backs. I mean, really. I've never taken any massage classes or whatever, but I've been told I have magic hands so I must not be too terrible. And I have one of those backs that is just stupid and whines constantly for attention. But can I reach it to appease it and therefore make my day a little better? Noooooo. INJUSTICE, I SAY!!! *Pouts*

Ok, so does anyone recall the last time I sprained my ankle like several months ago and it took weeks and weeks to heal? Yeah. *Sigh* We're going on over a month now this time around. I also have a wicked bruise still on my knee and a scar on my shin that still has nerve damage around it! I have some of the coolest injuries EVER! My steam burn scar on my wrist and my trampoline spring scar on my finger are pretty awesome. I wish I could remember how I got some of the others.

Random thought of the night: My laptop bag is boring. Awhile ago, I accidentally dripped purple nail polish on it, and it kinda looks cool! I'm thinking of adding more "accidental" drips to it. Thoughts, comments, suggestions? I could always do some kind of pattern, or keep it random. It's been on my do to list for awhile now, I just need to actually have the free time to do it. The whole ribbon fest had me busy all last week and cleaning up after another child *snicker* had me busy this week. I have a goal! Maybe I'll do it Sunday. Sounds like a soothing Sunday afternoon project.

I could keep rambling on about random subjects, and believe me I could go on for hours, but I have to make my bed. *Makes a face* My bed hates me, and so does my crappy mattress pad. It's a good thing it was cheap, or I'd be seriously distressed. And so, off I go to tackle a bed. Goodbye darlings, have a lovely night!

Metamorphosis

Today I sort of feel like a butterfly. And here's how: This morning I was sleeping (I know, weird). Getting my beauty sleep, all snuggled up in my blankets like a caterpillar in a cocoon, preparing to turn into a butterfly. It was going wonderfully, I was dead to the world, restoring my depleted stores of energy from staying up until four in the morning trying to return a sense of balance to my soul . . . Ok, so I was up screwing around on Facebook and trying to find my bed under the mess, but still. It was good for my chi, chakra, karma, whatever.

Anyway, so I'm sleeping . . . turning into a beautiful butterfly when very suddenly the gentle sounds of my daughter yelling for Grandma and banging at the door dumped me out of my cocoon too early. And what came out was something less than a beautiful butterfly. What came stumbling out was an ornery, sleep-deprived girl that had bloodshot eyes, hair that resembled a haystack, and the collective tolerance and IQ of a really ticked off amoeba. Yes. It was that bad. My metamorphosis, needless to say, did not really go as well as planned. *Sigh*

So now this little butterfly feels a bit like it's been smooshed into the grille of a speeding semi, but at least it gave me something fun to write about! Fun may be the wrong word . . . but we'll go with it anyway. And right now we're watching The Incredibles, for the first time out of at least three today, I'm sure. Possibly more. And on that subject, why is it that in that movie, the daughter Violet has black hair? Mr. Incredible is blonde, Elastigirl is a redhead, the other two boys are blonde, and then there's Violet. How very odd. Just sayin'.

On an altogether different and completely random note, I'm wondering what my poor husband will say when he comes home in a week or two and sees a few girly elements in our bedroom that weren't there before. No, I didn't paint the walls pink or anything. But there are big sparkly daisies clipped onto the curtains, and big Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow poster on the door, and two pretty floral garland things looped along the wall. And there is a plan to put a poster of a young and hot Elvis on the closet. I should probably feel bad about this, huh? I sorta justify it by saying that he'll have a whole truck to himself to decorate soon! So, for now . . . Jack Sparrow is staying.

And sadly, this blog is going to be a short one. Comparatively. My meek and quiet little child of mine has been whining about wanting cocoa for the last five minutes, and after telling her she could only have one piece of chocolate this morning (man, what a tantrum!) I figure cocoa is a doable alternative. She sounds more irritated every time she asks, and I sound more irritated every time I tell her to be patient. This whole patience thing is not our strong suit.

And so, everybody, ta ta. And guess what, I can actually say that you're not a pretend audience anymore!!! I have 5 followers!!! *Happy Dance* Hi guys!!! *Waggles fingers at you* I feel all sorts of special, let me tell ya. I guess this is what happens when I pimp myself out on Facebook (I stole that line . . . it was too great not to). Ok, I'm off to get cocoa, I'll chat at y'all later. Bye!

Pirates, Trucking, and Netflix, oh my!

What does it mean when your three year old jumps up on the bed, scootches down and gets all comfy, then grabs your romance novel sitting next to her and opens it up to read? I'm just curious . . . Also, what does it mean when she develops and attitude roughly the size of Asia? Don't get me wrong, I have quite enough attitude to match her any day, but I worry for the poor preschool teacher that is going to have to deal with it soon. The poor person. And have I mentioned she's stubborn? Yeah, she got that from me too. I seemed to have passed on a lot of traits that may have been better off staying in the gene pool. At least she got my eyes. And her daddy's butt. That is certainly a wonderful asset to have.

In other news, my new obsession of the week has moved on from very hot fictional characters and on to Captain Jack Sparrow! I watched the Pirates trilogy last week, and just enjoyed it thoroughly, wallowing in the wonderfulness. I love the second and third ones, but the first one is just . . . magic. Utter perfection. I've been quoting it in my head ever since, although not to many other people. Just because I'm crazy enough without sharing all the details with the world. I'm conscientious that way.

So, I believe I've shared the information already about my husband doing trucking and all that, and I have sort of an update. He's been gone since January 8th, and in that time I have seen him once for about 20 minutes when he was passing through. But there maybe an end in sight. He's only got about twenty or so hours left for his training, which means that hopefully in a few days he's all done. The catch to this is that before he can come home, he has to do at least one run solo. And he has to get his truck first, which we're hoping will be really quick. But there's no telling if he'll have to wait for it or not. So, *crossing fingers* we're thinking another two weeks just to be safe. And that puts us around March 11th, which will be 9 weeks that he'll have been gone . . . as opposed to the 4-6 that we were told it would be. This irritates me to no end, let me tell ya. But there's nothing we can do about it, so I'm just hoping the days go by fast and that things don't feel weird when he finally comes home. We're going to run away for a couple days and just hide out in a hotel somewhere, so that will be wonderful.

Ooh, ooh, I have a funny book recommendation for you, and a movie recommendation. The book is a kid's picture book called Tadpole's Promise by Jeanne Willis. It's a really cute book, but has a surprise ending that is on one hand distressing and disturbing, and on the other FREAKING HYSTERICAL!!! I kinda fell over laughing, and I showed it to my mother in law and sister in law. They leaned a little more to the disturbed side, but still laughed. As for the movie recommendation, I saw Must Love Dogs recently, with Diane Lane (this is actually the first movie I've ever seen her in), and John Cusack who is an actor I really love. The movie was so cute, and just funny and I loved it! I have my friend Lindsie to thank for that, she pestered me for a week until I finally got if from Netflix (love them too, by the way)and fell in love. Oh, while we're on the subject of movies, another one I saw recently and LOVED was When Harry Met Sally. Oh my gosh, I ADORED Billy Crystal!!! It's really awkward/painful to watch a main character as sweet and wonderful as that and have your significant other away from home and not there for snuggling. But anyway, loved those!!!

Oh, and while I'm here, I wanna send a shout out to the person that decided to put clean up stations at intervals in the Petsmart stores. BRILLIANT idea. And not for the reason you would think. Oh no, this doesn't even have anything to do with pets. It has to do with coughing children that just ate dinner and spent 15 minutes running around the pet store like there was no tomorrow. And promptly coughed hard, gagged, and barfed all over the floor by the Purina One. Heaven bless the wise, wonderful person that decided a cleaning station should go the next aisle over, not ten steps away. Bless you, brilliant person.

And right now said daughter is undressing herself to slather on some lotion, so before I end up running through the house trying to force a greased 3 year old into a pair of pants, I'm gonna go tackle her now. Hope everyone has a lovely, tantrum free day and doesn't get muddy paw prints all over their clean sheets like I just did. Bye!

Potty Training Drama

I have a funny story for you. So today, just a few minutes ago in fact, my three year old was sent to go potty. She can do it by herself, but you have to tell her to go or she won't. So after some persuading and a little bit of raised voices and turning the TV off, she went to go potty. It all went well, she was all done, then suddenly she started crying. With real tears and everything.

So I go in to see what's the matter, and she's got her face in her hands and everything, and I'm thinking she got hurt. So I ask her, "Did you get an owie?" She says no. I ask her, "Did something scare you?" She says no. So I ask her one more time if she got hurt, because sometimes she's too busy being upset to remember she did get an owie, but she said no again, in a very annoyed fashion, like Geez, mom, I already answered that.

I'm completely puzzled as I kneel on the floor hugging her and rubbing her back, and ask if she's ready to go watch her movie again, and she perks up and stops crying. But then she looks at the toilet and almost starts to cry again, and I finally get what she's upset about when she keeps pointing to the toilet paper and her butt. The child forgot to wipe.

So I ask her if she forgot to wipe her bum, and she sniffles and says, "Yeah." Ok, I'm totally ready to fall over laughing at this point, but I help her get her pants and panties down again so she can wipe and flush the toilet, and she goes running off to watch her movie in complete three year old bliss. I started laughing really hard, we're talking I almost did fall over into the wall, and had to share. I mean, really. That's too awesome that the worst thing in her life is that she forgot to wipe after she went potty. She was seriously very upset.

As you can tell, at this point, we're doing potty-training right now. Well, we have for almost two months now, but we've hit a snag on getting her to go on her own. That, and she's afraid of the big potty. No joke. She will not even approach the thing without her panties securely in place, and there is no way she'll use public restrooms because they have big potties. I think she's afraid she'll fall in or something. It's a challenge because who really takes the cute little red training potty with them wherever they go? I certainly don't. How do you explain that? "Hi, I'm the weird mom with a willful child and I have to take her own personal potty everywhere we go."

So, if any of y'all out there have suggestions for this mommy's potty-training conundrum, be sure to let me know! I have no idea how to conquer the big potty phobia. And how to you explain to a three year old what it feels like when they need to pee? "Well, sweetie, it's when you feel an odd sensation down in your nether regions . . . " Yeah. That's what I thought. Anyway, I'll chat atcha later, hope you all have a good day. Or night. Or week. Or whatever. Ta!

"Ception"

I'm doing a themed blog today, just cuz I thought of if in the car on the way to my mom's house today. And that theme is "Ception". It will make sense in a minute, just stay with me.

The first "ception" on our list are reception sticks. (Do you see the theme now?) Today, at the same time while I was in the car having the idea for this blog, I was eating lemon reception sticks. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, reception sticks are really skinny candy sticks of various flavors (think candy canes, but different flavors and just straight sticks) dipped in chocolate. They are actually quite fabulous, in my opinion. I greatly enjoyed them, and I also discovered that I don't care too much for the mint ones. So there's our first "ception".

Our second "ception" is the movie Inception that just came out last year. (Any confusion about this theme?) Now, I actually really love this movie. I've only seen it twice, I believe, but I loved it both times. If you haven't seen it, you should give it a shot. It's like a really awesome James Bond kind of thing, almost. And I am kind of a Leonardo DiCaprio fan, I admit it. I think he's adorable, and he's still adorable as he gets older, and that's hard to do. Sometimes I just really enjoy mind-bending movies like this one.

Next on our list of "ceptions" is exception. I'm actually not sure where I'm going with this, let's look up the definition. *Wanders over to Google Dictionary* Ok, the best one is: the one that is excepted, or the on to whom the rules do not apply. Alrighty, so let's think of an exception here . . . ok, and] exception to the rule that children are always adorable. Currently, it is 2:30ish in the morning right now, and my three year old keeps waking up and doing her whining cry that is very loud, extremely annoying, and really starting to get on my nerves. I admit it, I have Bad Mommy tendencies on occasion, and they include ignoring tantrums, throwing toys back when she throws them when she's mad, and refusing to give her full strength chocolate milk at any occasion. Anyway, so right now I'm being exceptionally irritated at her, and I think she needs to quit doing her whiny cry and go to sleep, the little booger. See, Bad Mommy.

Ok, another "ception" is related to the first one, but totally different. Wedding receptions. We just had one last week for my sister in law, she got married and if you don't know any Mormons, let me give you a quick overview of how Utah Mormons do weddings. We do everything ourselves, or we have friends and ward members help. For example, for my wedding, the reception was in our backyard. My mom's friend did the cake. My mom and my mom's friend did my hair. It was a community effort from my family and my husband's family for the decorations. The food was made by my aunt, my mom, my mother in law, and my sister. We made the bridesmaid's skirts. And it all turned out gorgeous, by the way, and if we hadn't all been such rookies at doing weddings, the whole day would have been perfect.

Ooh, I found another "ception"! Deception. As in, to deceive, bluff, beguile, mystify, also subterfuge. For some reason, this reminds me of my newest favorite musical EVER, Cats. Last year the high school put on a production of Cats, and while I thought it was totally odd, I still liked it. And then I found the DVD at the library and completely fell in love. I don't remember if I've mentioned this before, but I have a ferocious and rampant crush on the Rum Tum Tugger (and also the actor that played him in the movie). So how does this all relate to deception? Well, one of the cats in the musical, Macavity, is basically the big bad nasty cat that is responsible for all the mischief and naughty stuff that happens, and he's sneaky and a master of disguise and all that. See, he's deceptive. Ha ha, this game is fun. The three year old is really starting to tick me off.

Ok, one more and then I'm going to put in earplugs and go to sleep, whiny three year old or not. Our last "ception" is perception. Basically, intuition. I was going to avoid this story, but what the hey? No one reads this anyway, so who's going to care? So, several months ago my husband's friend decided that he was going to become a trucker. Like, long-haul, semi-driving trucker. And he talked my husband into doing it too. I knew the second I got wind of this that it was not going to be fun. And boy howdy, was I right. My husband left Friday night for orientation and 4-6 weeks of training to become a long-haul trucker. Meaning, I will not be seeing him until at least the middle of February. I won't antagonize you by listing all of the many ways that this SUCKS. And after all of that, he will be on the following schedule of one week out gets him one day at home. Yeah. You wanna know the percentage of the time he'll be home? It's right around %14. Of the 365 days of the year, I will see my husband for 52 of them. And for half of those, we'll be sleeping.

I have a very good idea right now what the 7th circle of hell is like, and let me tell ya, it's just a frigging hoot and a half. (I am using much stronger, sailor-worthy language in my head, believe me.) Anyway, so my perception of this trucking idea is about the same now as it was back in September. It sucks. It will continue to suck. I'll have to get back to you on how something like this affects a marriage that was silently suffering anyway. Don't tell anybody, that's supposed to be my own little secret.

Okeydokey, I think I've pretty much angst-ed out everyone for the night, and between this and the three year old I'm now in a mood black enough to put a whole lot of villains to shame. I'm going to try and find something to cheer me up now, and until we meet again, ciao.

After-Holiday Pre-Wedding Rush

Hello darlings! How was everyone's Christmas and New Year's? Both of mine were fabulous and fun and all that jazz, and I got awesome presents and some great hangout time with my families, so I enjoyed it immensely. And, this is quite a shocker to me, but all of the Christmas decorations are down. *Big eyes* Yeah, I know, how weird is that? We actually took it all down last week so there was more room for wedding crap all over (I am so ready for this freakin' wedding to be over, by the way) and that's the first time in, like, ever, that Christmas stuff has come down before New Year's.

I am now going to do . . . something. I thought about tellin y'all about my presents, but that would be supremely boring for you. Hmm . . . well, I'm reading a book series, well, skimming a book series is more accurate, but I like it. It's the Black Dagger Brotherhood by J.R. Ward and I'm enjoying it. The way she writes is bleeding into my vocabulary and I think I might be permanently altered now. I'm not really into vampires, never have been, and I think I might have mentioned my resistance to reading the Twilight series, but this series puts a different twist on it that just works for me. I have the two remaining books in the series on hold at work, but there are 9 people ahead of me for both of them, and there are only single copies of each one available. *Rolls eyes* Yeah, I can expect to get them sometime around September. How very annoying.

I'm going to be sacriligeous, are we ready for this?! I kinda like Britney Spears. Well, pre-bald, pre-divorce, pre-bad rap Britney Spears. I have her first album that I love to death and then a few songs from her second album, and then 3 in there from the early 2000's that were on the radio all the time in high school. Let me tell you, listening to all that music that was on when I was in school is just the awesomest blast from the past. Most of my playlists on itunes have a LOT of songs from when I was in high school. Best years of my life, right there. Ah, I miss them.

Ok, this is sad, but my well of chatter has run dry so I'm gonna go run away and find something to do. I have several books to read, which I just might do, or catching up on watching NCIS or Big Bang online. And dinner is probably in an hour, twice baked potatoes and roast! Yummy! Yeah, I'm leaving now, see ya!

CHRISTMAS!!! *Bouncing around the room*

Happy Christmas to you all! Ok, so it's technically not Christmas yet, and for the next few minutes that it's still the 22nd of December, we have 3 more days until Christmas! But I'm pretty sure I won't be blogging until then, especially since my track record with all this is . . . well, pathetic. Let's not mince words, here. So do you all want to hear what I've been up to? *Giggling to self* What am I saying, of course you do!

So, I think we've previously discussed my gift conundrum, the whole no money thing. Yeah. It's worse than I thought, actually, but through significant amounts of stress and an extremely charitable act from my sister in law, the presents are now almost completely done. I'm making a recipe book for my mom out of all the 3x5 recipes cards she has, and that has been by far the most complicated project, and it's the only one not done. I have 2 others that are done but not wrapped, and everything else is done or bought. *Looking around nervously, convinced I forgot something* This is very amazing. I am never making a homemade present again. EVER. Although, the pillow I made for my sister with a quote sewn on it is really freaking cute. But I am not making another one. EVER.

So for the moment, I am watching Christmas movies constantly, listening to lots of Christmas music, and really looking forward to Christmas Eve. We're going up to my Mom's, and since she goes crazy over all the holidays, Christmas is no exception. And we have a bunch of awesome Christmas traditions that we do on Christmas Eve. We do all sorts of fun finger foods, and the most famous might just be the Cheese Ball. My mom, my sister, and I usually work together on a fantastic concoction of a bunch of cheese and make a lovely cheese ball to have with crackers. *Smiles in anticipation* And then a veggie tray, little smokies with our own special sauce, just all sorts of stuff. I'm very excited. And then we'll do the Christmas Story, Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and have Sprite and eggnog and chips and dip, and each open a bedtime related present from our parents. I just get more and more worked up in anticipation talking about it! I was talking to someone at work about our Christmas traditions and stuff and she said that I have a really good family to do stuff like that with, and I agree. And something very special about my family is that all of us still remember how to be a kid and feel that love and excitement and off-the-wall craziness that makes everything fun. Being at my family's house is like being a kid again without adult worries, and I treasure that.

In the spirit of Christmas, I'm going to set forth a few favorite. My favorite Christmas movie is The Muppet's Christmas Carol, and the runner up is White Christmas. Contenders for 3rd place are We're No Angels, Polar Express, Charlie Brown's Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the original). Other honorable mentions are the classics like Rudolph, and also Elf and The Santa Clause. My favorite Christmas songs are as follows: newer music winner is Hey Santa or Carol of the Bells (one of the funky versions). Classic is either Sleigh Ride by the Boston Pops or something by Bing Crosby. One of my new rediscoveries is Christmas in Kilarney and I had one fun trip down memory lane. (When I was little we used to go on a Christmas tree hunt the day after Thanksgiving and go up in the mountains several hours away and cut down a tree. We had a tape of Christmas music that we'd listen to over and over and it was great.) Anyway, back to the list, my favorite hymn is Angels We Have Heard On High, it's the whole "Glo-o-o-o-o-oooo-o-o-o-o-oooo-o-o-o-o-ooooria" part. Just so fun. I can't think of any others right now. I just really enjoy Christmas music.

Anyway, I'm going to go finish watching Muppets, perhaps wrap those other two presents, and pray that work goes by really fast tomorrow so I can go play with my family and get ready for Christmas Eve! I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and if I don't see you before New Years, Happy New Year!