Sleeping Beauty, Bronchitis, and Disney Magic

So, my little five year old Sammy and I have been sick in bed (literally) for the past few days with bronchitis. It has . . . not been fun. At all. But at least one good thing has come of it. Sleeping Beauty. I shall explain.


You know how us as humans tend to fixate on things? For example, I've been fixated on Robert Downey Jr. for the longest time now, my sister in law has been fixated on Stargate (the AMAZING TV series), etc. Well, Sammy has been fixating on Sleeping Beauty. She has probably watched this movie 20 times this weekend alone. We're working on the fourth time through just today, and it's not even dinnertime yet. We've also watched special features, and done the Sleeping Beauty Castle virtual tour three times in a row.

Well, while the two of us are sitting in bed, sniffling and hacking and dabbing at watery eyes and trying to breathe past the enormous invisible elephants on our chests, I've been having Sleeping Beauty related epiphanies left and right. Seriously. I can't even Facebook them all, otherwise people would start questioning my Nyquil intake. (For the record, none. I don't do medicine I have to drink, and gel capsules make me gag just at the sight of them. See, my throat is seizing just thinking about them. *Gag*) So, in order to share these priceless epiphanies with the world, hello pretty blog! Hold onto your hats, people. It's about to get Disney all up in here.

First off, a rant. I know, odd thing to start with, but we're going with it anyway. And I promise, this all ties in at the end, bear with me. It's been a big trend recently to redo classic fairytales into these big, grand, live action adventures. Snow White has been done twice, Hansel and Gretel inherited Jeremy Renner and some witches, Alice in Wonderland got the Tim Burton treatment a few years ago, Red Riding Hood grew up and fell in love with a werewolf. Now, on my part, I've pretty much been a big fan of these. Mirror Mirror: wacky, but I loved it. Julia Roberts was GENIUS. Alice in Wonderland is a favorite, Johnny Depp has yet to find a role he can't do. Red Riding Hood appealed in the most bizarre way, since I'm not a big fan of the creepy things.


However . . . It all fell apart when we put the hot factor of Chris Hemsworth, the acting prowess of Charlize Theron, and the fantastic story of Snow White, with . . . Kristen Stewart. We gave a girl with as much expression as a brick wall the role of the fairest in the land. No. As of yet, not even the lure of Chris Hemsworth's muscles and Charlize Theron as the wicked queen have convinced me to sit through two hours of snooze on the part of director-screwing, Stony-Faced Stewart. I can't do it.

Which brings me to one of the next live-action fairytale interpretations set to hit the scenes, rumored to give us the backstory of one of the most famous villains in history, Maleficent (see, told you this would tie in). I'm stoked for this. As stoked as I was for Snow White and the Huntsman before I found out about that the fairest of them all was really going to be the least expressive of them all. I mean, come on! This is going to be awesome. The actresses they are picking to play these evil queens is genius. Julia Roberts, Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, these women are top of the totem pole. Watching them apply their own particular talents to such huge, fantastic characters is or is going to be AMAZING.


And while we're waiting anxiously for the summer of 2014 to find out what the good goshdang happened to muck up Maleficent's life, I have a theory: She and King Stefan have a history. I'm not sure what kind, but there has to be something going on there. Why else would Maleficent just randomly show up at the royal baby shower and be uber-pissed about not having been invited? It's a baby shower, not like you're missing much, just oohing and ahhing over this season's cutest in haute for baby.

Unless . . . it's your ex's baby with his wife he left you for. In that case, I can see being a bit miffed. Especially when the other woman has the gall to actually talk to you when you crash the party, putting on the innocent act and asking if you're not offended. If that's the case, they kinda asked for it. Yeah people, this is where my brain goes. I have a good time.

So, Maleficent is pissed, plants an evil curse on (her ex's?) baby, and disappears in a cloud of green smoke, leaving everyone's favorite good fairy, Merryweather, to unsnarl this mess. I have one question . . .

WHAT WAS MERRYWEATHER GOING TO GIVE THE PRINCESS BEFORE ALL THAT HAPPENED?! Seriously, this has been bothering me for years. The kid already has beauty and song, which seems like a pretty good deal to me, so what could the third gift have been that would have been equal to those gifts already given? Mysterious. But, as before, I have a theory. I would bet that Merryweather, being the adorable thing she is, was either going to give Aurora the gift of happiness or love. Because those are the kinds of things the spunky, cheeky fairy would value. And yet, despite this happy theory I have formed, I'm still going to drive myself nuts every time I see this movie. Which will probably be another two or three times before bedtime, if the day continues as it has been.


Since we're on the topic of Merryweather, that brings me nicely to my next thing. I have decided that dressing up as one of the fairies for Halloween would be totally awesome! I totally have the body type for it, short and round. And I could totally make that hat, I have some pretty mad hat skills (ask me about my Mad Hatter top hat). And, since my mother-in-law and sister-in-law are as big of Disney fans as I am, we could totally do a trio of all three!

Then my daughter threw in her two cents, and I was surprised. Sammy wants to be the green fairy, Fauna, Grandma can be Merryweather, sister-in-law can be Flora, our dog can be the dragon Maleficent, I can be Sleeping Beauty, and Daddy can be the prince. Of course I was delighted to be the princess in this scenario, so I graciously accepted. The temptation to do a dress that is splattered pink and blue is irresistible. If I am being Princess Aurora this Halloween, I am so doing that.

Ok peeps, a couple of quick tidbits of trivia will wrap this thing up, so here we go (I'm a BIG trivia fan, deal with it). The voice of Maleficent = Same woman who voiced the stepmother, Lady Tremaine, in Cinderella! The sound of the dragon snapping its jaws = Castanets! And this last one is my favorite: when Maleficent is taunting Prince Phillip in the prison in the Forbidden Mountain fortress, and his subsequent daring escape, all of that was originally meant to go to Prince Ferdinand in Snow White. The reason it didn't? When Snow White was being done, Walt Disney didn't think his animators could do a convincing enough human male (look at that picture, he had a point), so it was scrapped and put in Sleeping Beauty years later instead! Cool, huh?! Told ya, trivia nerd over here. I love this stuff.


You wanna know the best thing about this movie, and even all Disney movies in general, especially the classics? That they never stop being as awesome as the were the first time you saw them. I still get that thrill of romance when Prince Phillip starts dancing with Briar Rose, waltzing through the forest. I still laugh in delight as Flora and Merryweather bicker back and forth while the fairies are all preparing for the birthday party. I still feel that deep sense of foreboding and fear as Maleficent appears in the fireplace and lures Aurora away up the tower to the tune of that creepy music. It's magic. Disney magic. And even when I'm old and gray, looking far more like a Fairy Godmother than a princess, I will still see with wondering eyes everything that those movies have to offer.


P.S. Have you ever noticed that the horses in Disney movie are the most hysterical, outrageous creatures! The attitude! It's fabulous!

Fairies, Big Toys, and Cliffs Notes

So, I was going to do my Things Your Waitress Won't Tell You, but I'm not functioning very well right now and I only got to number two and realized I was rambling. So we'll try for next time with that.

My baby is sick. *Sad face* I'm fairly certain we got colds after having that virus, and since she was a lucky bug and escaped the virus, she got slammed by the cold. She's got huge dark circles under her eyes and they're red and puffy, her nose is running like a train and she's just as ornery as a bear. I'm keeping her loaded up on kid's ibuprofen and nighttime cough and cold, but she's still having a hard time. One of her favorite movies is Polar Express, which she endearingly calls "Choo choo" but I hardly let her watch it because there's just something sacreligous about watching Christmas movies when it's not Christmas, but I've let her watch it as much as she wants today. Which is, like, 8 times. At least. I was at work this morning, so who knows. I'm hoping her cold wasn't made worse by playing outside the other day.

We spent the night at my parent's house and they live right across from the elementary school, so we all went over and played on the Big Toy for about an hour or so. We're talking 4 adults, two over the age of 40, a 17 year old, then 3 kids from 10 to 2. Us adults discovered via the monkey bars and zip line that we have muscles that have lain dormant for a good 10 to 20 years! I'm sure it was a riot to see us all playing around. My daughter was having a ball climbing up the slide and going down, and climbing up, and going down over and over. My littler sister was climbing everything, my other older sister was trying to simultaneously hold onto the dog (a very spazzy miniature American Eskimo named Miko) and jump on the tires in the sand box. My mom was alternating between spinning on the twirly stool-looking things and testing the zip line. My dad was busy crashing himself into the rest of the big toy while testing the zip line and helping my daughter climb back up the slide. My hubby was everywhere getting into everything, particularly the toy that's like a log in the water that you run on and try not to fall off. My brother was climbing around on the big tires in the sand box, and I was going between the zipline, the tires, and the Maryland bars (I'm not actually sure that's what they're called, they're two parallel bars that slope down to the ground from the Big Toy. You just hook your legs over the bars and zoom on down. In my case I was more of very slowly creeping down since my jeans weren't very slidey). It was a blast and we were all SO sore the next morning! And then before we left my baby insisted that we go back and we climbed up and down the slide for another half hour.

Anywho, I got the funnest package in the mail today! I have a favorite site called Collections Etc. and they have the coolest stuff! It's one of those catalog places that have all sorts of stuff that you don't really need, but at the same time you can't live without it, you know? I ordered a couple things last week and they came today! Joy! I got a set of three blown glass art necklaces, they're really pretty, and a figurine set of fairies in the woods! I didn't know if I expected them to be bigger or smaller, but for some reason I was so surprised and downright tickled when I opened them up! They've got glittery wings and the details are so cool! They are now in a spot of honor on the shelf on my nightstand, next to my musical doll my daughter got me for Mother's Day and the silk flowers in the white pail that I change when I'm in a mood to. So today was a lovely package day! I am going to have the hardest time deciding which necklace to wear first! Gah!

On a side note here, I have discovered that I love Cliffs Notes. I see them at the library all the time, so a few weeks ago I just grabbed a handful and took them home. They are so awesome! You get the whole plotline without having to read hundreds of pages! I read Wuthering Heights (depressing, glad I didn't read the long version), King Lear (want to see it now), Othello (depressing), The Iliad (interesting), My Antonia (glad I never read it in school), I tried to read Canterbury Tales but there were just too many flippin' characters, I did Beowulf (pretty nifty, I love mythology), and Henry V (cool). Who knows how many pages I would have had to read and Shakespeare I would have had to decipher? I love the story of Little Women and the Jane Austen's, but I can't stand the language. It's fantastic, but it takes you a freaking eternity to read! So I am more than happy to settle for the movie versions, or, in the case of this paragraph, Cliffs Notes! Hooray for Cliffs Notes! I have another 50 or so that I'm going to check out, and Don Quixote is the next one in the stack on my dresser. I'm excited!

Okey dokey, I think my mouth runneth over enough for tonight, and I shall now . . . do something. I was so tired earlier that I actually slept for an hour, and it was 9 o'clock! I'm still tired, but my mind is going 110 mph so I'm going to have to find a calming activity. It's a challenge when the last 2 discs of NCIS are beckoning and I also have 2 movies from the library to watch. David and Bathsheba with Gregory Peck and Immortal Beloved with Gary Oldman, it's about Beethoven. If either are remarkable, I'll let you know. But not tonight! I am not staying up til 3:30 in the morning again, no way! And so, I take my leave. G'night, y'all!